so what was off???

was it my mind???? believe it or not, the answer is yes and no. you see, im far from a gibbering madman. my problem is that i feel....detached you could say. each day when i wake up, i put on a mask; a mask that filters my thoughts and ideas in a way that makes it so i ssound like the rest of society.

people ask me the most mundane questions, in attempts to learn more about who i am. what they learn about is a lie; a fabrication ive created that gives me a safe spot in society's clutches.
i tried to show my true colors once. it was as a freshman. and it first , it worked out well. but soon, more people started to hear about me. instead of just my freinds, i now had strangers barrageing me with questions.

"why dont you think murder is wrong?"

"are you a wiccan? why do you think magick is real?!"

never once did i speak about magick, so that one always pissed me off. but the answers i gave apparently did not make people pleased. i became a fuckin exile......not that i minded. i hate their guts. most of you people (excluding a select few) are so fucking ignorant and brainwashed that, personally, i think of you more like animals.
really. stupid. animals.

however, as some of you know, contempt for your own breeds no good.and soon i began to develop an.........anger.........that boils deep within me. now, lots of people have this problem. why does it fuck with my life so much???


last year a boy tryed takeing my wallet. he tryed to step into my face and, due to his height, look down at me.
i took my thumb, index, and middle finger on each hand, shoved them into his eyesockets and pulled his eyes out of his head.


it was like one of the nightmares i had. he started screaming and running away, his eyes hanging down near his fucking chin. i could believe my own eyes and ears.


what had i done??

to top it all off i felt no shame. no guilt. i was EXCITED!!! over joyed!!!! i had stood up for myself, and honestly, I saw nothing wrong with it!!

but i knew that was dangerous. dont get me wrong, like i said, i do not judge those that murder people. we all have our faults, and everyone has that urge to kill sometime in their life. but i could keep doing that; i couldnt just throw my muscle at everyone who ever tried to hurt me because i knew id end up hurting somone ever more, or worse, even KILLING them.....



so ive hid myself.......ive ziptied, locked, chained, lashed, and bound my anger and my strength so that i would never hurt somone like that again. this has caused me to develop a near split personality.

the half of me that is rational, sane, and kind've pleasent.

that half of me that would love nothing more then to kill you all.







this is my curse. and my blessing.

)*SERVE*(